INDIAN JOKES

• Mannoo was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall.
  It read "Padne waala gadha."(one who reads it is an ass.)
  Mannoo thought for an hour, erased it and wrote back,"Likhne waala gadha."(One who wrote it is an ass).

• Mrs. Mannoo was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes."What is the matter today? asked her husband. "Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone."
  "I got a wrong number," replied Mrs. Mannoo.

• Mannoo was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence.
    "They should nto put up such misleading notices,"said Mannoo ." It said , FINE FOR PARKING HERE."

• A haryanavi peasant came to the office of The Hindustan Times to place an advertisement announcing his father's death. "The rate is Rs. 360 per single col. cm," the clerk told him.
    "Main to lut jaoonga - I 'll be ruined," exclaimed the haryanavi. "My father was 182 cms tall."

• Two Indians were in conversation on the beach :

Indian 1 :Praaji , Ise 'beach' kyo kaheete hai ?

Indian 2 : Tumhe nahe pata ?                               

Indian 1 : Nahe pata.

Indian 2 : Woh to Aasmaan aur Zameen ke beech mein hai esliye eesai beach kahete hai .

•   Rajsi complained to his friend about his wife ' My wife never agrees with anything I
    say. And we have been married for six years .'

Mrs Rajsi intervened, ' Not six we have been married for seven years ! '

• Mannoo, very proud of his humour used to say to his wife leaving for the office : 'Good bye Char Bacchon ki Maa' . One day his wife fed up of this answered : ' Bye Bye, Doo Bacchon Ke Baap'.

That ended the husband's witticisms.

• Teacher : If we breath oxygen in the daytime, what do we breath at night?
  Pupil :Nitrogen?

•   Mrs Kartar had bought a beautiful sweater for her husband . She sent it to her husband by parcel post along with a note. The note said : ' The buttons of the sweater are removed since they where too heavy and added to the postage . You will find them in the right hand pocket of the sweater .

• Avtar & Kartar used to stay in same building . Avtar on the  Ground floor & Kartar on the 25^thfloor. One day when the lift was not working , Kartar invited Avtar for a Dinner. Avtar trudged up to 25^thfloor to find Kartar's flat closed from outside and had a note which read : ' How did you enjoy your dinner ? '

Not to be outdone , Avtar wrote under it , ' Sorry , I could not make it . '

•            Mannoo showed his plam to a palmist . He examined the lines on Mannoo hand & said,'A beautiful girl will come into your life, but be very careful.'
            'Why should I have to be careful?' asked Mannoo. 'She should be careful of her life. I drive a Redline bus!'

•      Mannoo & Pannoo had strong reservations against the Mandal Commission's recommendations. They found an ingenious way to get round them. Mannoo's daughter, Manvi married Pannoo's son, Punto. They named their grandson Mandal Jeet.

•               Mannoo went to eat in ramshackle hotel. To his surprise the waiter who came to serve him happened to be one of his classmate at school. Mannoo called him and said 'Aren't you ashamed of working in a seedy joint like this?'
              'Not at all,' replied the classmate. 'I would be ashamed if I ate my meal here. I only work in this place.'

•          'Take me to the 10^th floor,' said  Mannoo as he entered the lift of a high rise bulding. When the lift reached its destination, the liftman opened its gates and said, 'The 10^th floor, beta.'
         'Why did you call me beta?' demanded Mannoo. 'I am not your son.'
          'I called you beta because I brought you up,' replied the liftman.

•             Mannoo got his promotion and become an officer in Punjab Government. To keep up with his status, he decided to speak only in English to all his subordinates. One morning, his peon peeped through the door to see if his boss was busy. Mannoonoticed him and shouted, 'Why are you outstanding! Please income.'

•             The collector asked Mannoo for his rail ticket. Mannoo searched his pockets but could not find it. 'Never mind,' reassured the collector, ' I will take your word that you bought your ticket.'
             'That is very kind of you,' replied Mannoo, 'but if I don't find it, I want to know where to get off.'

•     Mannoo : 'Look Pannoo, what type of glasses they have made.
     The top is closed. How can you fill lassi in it ?'
      Pannoo : 'Yes, that's funny. And even if you make a hole at the top, how will
      the lassi stay in the glass when the bottom is open?'

•     Mannoo: ( to doctor ) : 'Doctor, I have a problem.'
      Doctor : 'What's your problem?'
      Mannoo : 'I keep forgetting things.'
      Doctor : 'Since when do you have this problem?'
      Mannoo : 'What problem?'

•    Mannoo owned a large factory. He issued orders that only married men would be employed. When his friend Pannoo asked him the reason, Mannoo replied, 'Married men are more obedient.'